Time for a change

April 10, 2005
Mechbay, Office of William "Sledge" Halas
Sleipnir Class Dropship Lincoln's Curse
Lothan System, Clan Wolf Occupation Zone, Ingars Continent

"All right niece o'mine, what are you trying to bribe me for this time? I hope you're not looking for me to get you out of trouble with your boyfriend." A broad grin was accompanied by a glint of amusement in dark eyes as the older man reached for the pot of fresh coffee and one of the two mugs sitting on his hastily cleared desk. The bright blue eyes of the young mechwarrior lounging in the chair opposite from him mock widened with feigned innocence as their owner dimpled with her impish smile. "And when are you going to stop bleaching your hair?"

The smile broadened into a cheeky grin, "It's more like I stopped dying my hair. And why would I try to bribe you?"

He paused in the middle of pouring his drink to stare at his niece, "Christ, Lonnie, what the hell did you do to yourself? Even your old father hasn't gone completely grey."

The pale haired woman shrugged, then neatly snagged the pot from Sledge, finished filling his cup before starting to fill her own. The small area was filled with the scent of not just freshly brewed coffee, but freshly ground. "Shortly after the first time I used a neurohelmet in the 'Ring I notice a streak of white in my hair, by the time I was hospitalized because of the fish I'd gone completely white. Hell if I know what caused it, just decided it was better to dye my hair rather than deal with my mother."

His niece dimpled again at Sledge, "Besides, it lends an "hair" of authority to my youthful face." She hastily ducked down from the thrown object that Sledge launched at her without spilling a drop from her mug.

"I'm not sure who has been a worse influence on you, your Lance or your boyfriend", was growled as she cautiously peeked over the edge of the desk. He sighed melodramatically, "Its safe to come up, el-tee."

"So, seriously, what brought you here with a pot of the really good stuff. Not that I don't mind you visiting, but you've got something going in that devious little mind of yours."

She took a healthy sip from her mug and closed her eyes to savor the taste for a moment since the stash of beans she'd brought with her wasn't very large. When she opened her eyes, there was still a faint twinkle of good humor, but for the most part her expression was serious.
"Well, if that's the case... I need to have a correction made to my helmet."

He stared at her for a moment wondering where she was going with the request. "What sort of correction? I thought you liked what Hiroko painted on it."

"Oh, there's nothing wrong with it, I rather like it. No, actually, my last name on it is wrong. I'd like to have it corrected."

"There's nothing wro-" Sledge stopped and stared at his niece again realizing there was no laughter in her eyes as he realized just where she was going. Silence stretched between them as he drank his coffee and considered the implications.

"No games?"

The shoulder length white hair whispered slightly as it brushed along the shoulders of her uniform as she shook her head with an oddly intense look in those brilliant eyes. "No games, no more lies, no more running. It's time for me to be me."

"It has to do with that message from Tharkad, doesn't it."

"Indeed. My darling mother really did have one of her schemes bite her in the ass. It seems she'd gotten involved with some terrorists consisting of some very hardcore Katrina supporters -"She held up a hand as he started to speak, "Let me finish, please Uncle Billy. This is hard enough as it is."

At his gesture to continue she took a slightly shakey breath and let it out slowly. "They apparently had some insane idea to take the Archon out. There was an explosive device in the basement of mother's estate. Governmental authorities discovered the scheme and sent a Lohengren team in, there was a firefight with the security forces present..." She fell silent for a moment, looking down into her mug. Without saying anything he reached over the desk and covered one of her hands earning him a weak smile.

"They don't know if she's alive or not, but it doesn't matter. Either way her power base is gone."

He refreshed their cups and looked at her steadily, "And what is Marlana Halas going to do now?"

She smiled at him, "Live my life. Officially mother and the rest died due to a faulty generator setting off a forgotten fuel supply. I've publicly declared I have no desire for her titles, lands, etc. Unofficially, the government wanted a deal that was more than fair. Half of her estate is going to various charitable causes of my discretion, a quarter goes to the government to help rebuild, the rest to me. The titles and lands to be dispensed as the Archon wishes. There was a catch though."

"You had to go back to your birth name."

She nodded slightly, "Yeah, to add emphasis to the official story. And best of all, both Alex and I are forgiven for our deception by the government."

Silence again as the two regarded each other, the unspoken question hanging in the air.

Abruptly Sledge stood up, grabbed the slim woman by the shoulders to her feet then gave her a bear hug. "Welcome home, Marlana."

The joke's on us

April 8, 3072
Lothan
Task Force Legend LZ – Red Dawn Sleipner Class Dropship Lincoln’s Curse

Once again the universe has proven it has a nasty sense of humor. Yesterday we made our presence known to Clan Wolf to help begin the start of pushing the Clans out of the Inner Sphere. As usual things didn’t go quite as planned. Nicholai’s and Major Dante’s SOGs were ripped apart as well as the vees and armor from my SOG. The worst part was that it was just five mechs each.

Five mechs, the mind boggles.

I have never felt such relief as I did when I saw Nicholai was alive and well. When I heard the signal of Red Dawn Actual down…I kept going. Though what I really wanted to do was curl up in a little ball and howl. That would have done no good and a great deal of harm. So I did what every soldier has learned to do, keep going no matter the pain.

But really the worst part was sitting in my mech hearing my people dying and not being able to do a goddamn thing. The doors on the mechbay for the Heretics suffered a malfunction and weren’t open until after the raid made on our LZ was long over.

All I could do was help take care of the injured in triage. Some…some all I could do was just hold their hands as they left this life for whatever is to be found at the clearing at the end of the path.

Then I couldn’t even do that when Mueller’s security pushed everyone except the actual medics out of the area with the injured Lt. Summers. That was bad and looks as if she’s going to be out of action for awhile. I can’t list the dead at this time, it’s too painful, for now I’m thankful for those still living.

Especially Nicholai.

I’m still worried about him, even though last night I think managed to help him get over the worst of the immediate despair. The losses hit him hard, harder than I think most realize. He obviously was still thinking clearly because he arranged with the Medusans to find a way to eliminate the Wolves’ air superiority, but at the cost of being unable to perform during the rest of the contract.

He was hurting so much, yet it didn’t occur to me to just hold him. No, instead I had to get angry and provoke him into getting angry.

Good move there, Lonnie. Idiot.

Ah well. We did kiss and make up for it.

I just hope that those of us remaining will see to the end of the contract. Successfully.

Mech Mental Meanderings

Author’s note: Went for a slightly different journal entry here, tried to go for something a bit more traditional. I’ll try to post something covering the time between the last entry and this one, but this was one of those that wouldn’t get out of my head until I wrote and posted it.

March 21, 3072
Nadir jump point, Karbala system, Free Rasalhague Republic spaceSleipnir class Dropship Lincoln's Curse
HRC-9001 Hercules, Mechbay

And so the moment of truth is coming fast upon us. In ten days we will be landing on the planet Lothan to wage war upon Clan Wolf as part of an SLDF task force. While I have no reservations with regards to the purpose of the task force, I still cannot help but reflect on the differences and similarities between this incarnation of the SLDF and the original. Both started off waging war, one to bring unwilling subjects into the fold of the first Star League and now… now we fight against the descendents of that mangled dream turned nightmare. The truce of Tukayyid is over, not that the Wolves ever truly honored it and it would seem that they are aiming for a new invasion. Apparently these bastard children of Kerensky haven’t learned the Sphere simply won’t roll over and expose its collective belly and throat to their fangs.

Idiots.

I never could see why people revered Kerensky as a great hero in a way that could be described as Arthurian. Not that I ever saw why people touted Arthur Pendragon as some great hero either.

Yes, both tried to do their damnedest to make the best out of bad situations, had wonderful ideals... and made such terrible mistakes that probably caused more suffering in the end.

And now we pay for Kerensky’s Arthur.

I can’t help but laugh as I re-read what I’ve written. Ah, Nicholai you have had a greater impact on me than I ever imagined anyone ever could, your tendency to philosophizing is starting to become contagious. Even now I find myself reaching one hand for the locket you gave me, to run my thumb across the rose-entwined sword on the cover. And yet again marvel at the detail of the cover…as well as wonder how you managed to get the contents. The picture of you was obviously easy enough and I’m sure it wasn’t too hard for you to get a picture of Dad and Uncle Billy together… But how did you manage to get a recent picture of Alex and Elise? Do you know how much it means to me to have the representation of my family hanging over my heart? You keep saying I’m amazing, but I’m not, I’m just a woman.

You, my love, are amazing. If only for the fact you gave me a true reason to live, not just something to fight for. It’s not hard for humans to find reasons to fight, some are better than others. But a reason to truly live? To slog through each crappy day after another? That can be far harder.

Christ Lonnie, what the hell has gotten into you?

No more doubts, you promised that not just to your unit, but to those you love. You don’t doubt your current relationships, personal and professional, and it’s made you all the stronger. You’ve been shown that you are so much more than what your instructors at the Nagelring had you believing. You will make mistakes, that’s part of being human, but you aren’t stupid nor a coward. Just inexperienced and you are learning.

No more doubts.

I still have some time before my shift starts, so I think I’ll sit here in my mech as I listen to some of the music that I had dug up for the last personal night with the man who captured my heart. Especially the one song that surprisingly caught his attention, but it did fit our situation amazingly well, though I won’t cry for lack of being with him.

We’ll have our time again.

So I’ll remember what it feels like to dance with someone I love and dare to dream of the future.

Just a little.

And I guess that's why they call it the blues
Time on my hands could be time spent with you
Laughing like children, living like lovers
Rolling like thunder under the covers
And I guess that's why they call it the blues