Mech Mental Meanderings
Author’s note: Went for a slightly different journal entry here, tried to go for something a bit more traditional. I’ll try to post something covering the time between the last entry and this one, but this was one of those that wouldn’t get out of my head until I wrote and posted it.
March 21, 3072
Nadir jump point, Karbala system, Free Rasalhague Republic spaceSleipnir class Dropship Lincoln's Curse
HRC-9001 Hercules, Mechbay
And so the moment of truth is coming fast upon us. In ten days we will be landing on the planet Lothan to wage war upon Clan Wolf as part of an SLDF task force. While I have no reservations with regards to the purpose of the task force, I still cannot help but reflect on the differences and similarities between this incarnation of the SLDF and the original. Both started off waging war, one to bring unwilling subjects into the fold of the first Star League and now… now we fight against the descendents of that mangled dream turned nightmare. The truce of Tukayyid is over, not that the Wolves ever truly honored it and it would seem that they are aiming for a new invasion. Apparently these bastard children of Kerensky haven’t learned the Sphere simply won’t roll over and expose its collective belly and throat to their fangs.
Idiots.
I never could see why people revered Kerensky as a great hero in a way that could be described as Arthurian. Not that I ever saw why people touted Arthur Pendragon as some great hero either.
Yes, both tried to do their damnedest to make the best out of bad situations, had wonderful ideals... and made such terrible mistakes that probably caused more suffering in the end.
And now we pay for Kerensky’s Arthur.
I can’t help but laugh as I re-read what I’ve written. Ah, Nicholai you have had a greater impact on me than I ever imagined anyone ever could, your tendency to philosophizing is starting to become contagious. Even now I find myself reaching one hand for the locket you gave me, to run my thumb across the rose-entwined sword on the cover. And yet again marvel at the detail of the cover…as well as wonder how you managed to get the contents. The picture of you was obviously easy enough and I’m sure it wasn’t too hard for you to get a picture of Dad and Uncle Billy together… But how did you manage to get a recent picture of Alex and Elise? Do you know how much it means to me to have the representation of my family hanging over my heart? You keep saying I’m amazing, but I’m not, I’m just a woman.
You, my love, are amazing. If only for the fact you gave me a true reason to live, not just something to fight for. It’s not hard for humans to find reasons to fight, some are better than others. But a reason to truly live? To slog through each crappy day after another? That can be far harder.
Christ Lonnie, what the hell has gotten into you?
No more doubts, you promised that not just to your unit, but to those you love. You don’t doubt your current relationships, personal and professional, and it’s made you all the stronger. You’ve been shown that you are so much more than what your instructors at the Nagelring had you believing. You will make mistakes, that’s part of being human, but you aren’t stupid nor a coward. Just inexperienced and you are learning.
No more doubts.
I still have some time before my shift starts, so I think I’ll sit here in my mech as I listen to some of the music that I had dug up for the last personal night with the man who captured my heart. Especially the one song that surprisingly caught his attention, but it did fit our situation amazingly well, though I won’t cry for lack of being with him.
We’ll have our time again.
So I’ll remember what it feels like to dance with someone I love and dare to dream of the future.
Just a little.
And I guess that's why they call it the blues
Time on my hands could be time spent with you
Laughing like children, living like lovers
Rolling like thunder under the covers
And I guess that's why they call it the blues
March 21, 3072
Nadir jump point, Karbala system, Free Rasalhague Republic spaceSleipnir class Dropship Lincoln's Curse
HRC-9001 Hercules, Mechbay
And so the moment of truth is coming fast upon us. In ten days we will be landing on the planet Lothan to wage war upon Clan Wolf as part of an SLDF task force. While I have no reservations with regards to the purpose of the task force, I still cannot help but reflect on the differences and similarities between this incarnation of the SLDF and the original. Both started off waging war, one to bring unwilling subjects into the fold of the first Star League and now… now we fight against the descendents of that mangled dream turned nightmare. The truce of Tukayyid is over, not that the Wolves ever truly honored it and it would seem that they are aiming for a new invasion. Apparently these bastard children of Kerensky haven’t learned the Sphere simply won’t roll over and expose its collective belly and throat to their fangs.
Idiots.
I never could see why people revered Kerensky as a great hero in a way that could be described as Arthurian. Not that I ever saw why people touted Arthur Pendragon as some great hero either.
Yes, both tried to do their damnedest to make the best out of bad situations, had wonderful ideals... and made such terrible mistakes that probably caused more suffering in the end.
And now we pay for Kerensky’s Arthur.
I can’t help but laugh as I re-read what I’ve written. Ah, Nicholai you have had a greater impact on me than I ever imagined anyone ever could, your tendency to philosophizing is starting to become contagious. Even now I find myself reaching one hand for the locket you gave me, to run my thumb across the rose-entwined sword on the cover. And yet again marvel at the detail of the cover…as well as wonder how you managed to get the contents. The picture of you was obviously easy enough and I’m sure it wasn’t too hard for you to get a picture of Dad and Uncle Billy together… But how did you manage to get a recent picture of Alex and Elise? Do you know how much it means to me to have the representation of my family hanging over my heart? You keep saying I’m amazing, but I’m not, I’m just a woman.
You, my love, are amazing. If only for the fact you gave me a true reason to live, not just something to fight for. It’s not hard for humans to find reasons to fight, some are better than others. But a reason to truly live? To slog through each crappy day after another? That can be far harder.
Christ Lonnie, what the hell has gotten into you?
No more doubts, you promised that not just to your unit, but to those you love. You don’t doubt your current relationships, personal and professional, and it’s made you all the stronger. You’ve been shown that you are so much more than what your instructors at the Nagelring had you believing. You will make mistakes, that’s part of being human, but you aren’t stupid nor a coward. Just inexperienced and you are learning.
No more doubts.
I still have some time before my shift starts, so I think I’ll sit here in my mech as I listen to some of the music that I had dug up for the last personal night with the man who captured my heart. Especially the one song that surprisingly caught his attention, but it did fit our situation amazingly well, though I won’t cry for lack of being with him.
We’ll have our time again.
So I’ll remember what it feels like to dance with someone I love and dare to dream of the future.
Just a little.
And I guess that's why they call it the blues
Time on my hands could be time spent with you
Laughing like children, living like lovers
Rolling like thunder under the covers
And I guess that's why they call it the blues
posted by Reika at 3:57 PM
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