A whirlwind of events

January 10, 3072
Outreach
Red Dawn Barracks

Author's note: This was an absolute bitch of an entry to write. I wanted to put in more about the day she spent with Kasperov, but just couldn't get it to work.

The newly made officer stared at her appearance in the slightly misty mirror of her barracks. While she wasn't a vain woman, she was very meticulous about her appearance, her white hair was starting to get long again, but decided she would just let it grow out this time, tired of the battle of keeping it short. For some reason her hair and nails tended to grow quickly, it wasn't difficult to keep her nails trimmed, but after awhile it got tedious to constantly get her hair cut as precisely as she used to. The ends were still even, and since the unit used the newer model of neurohelmets, she only needed to keep her temples shaved. Mentally the mechwarrior shied away from the other reason why she was going to let her hair grow out. Silently she assesed the rest of her appearance, uniform was as neat and precise as ever, being freshly showered she was clean. More showers would likely occur later on in the day depending on duties and schedule. Overall she looked like what she was: a young, earnest officer who put more effort into her duties than her appearance.

Finally Lonnie allowed herself to regard the rank insignia on her uniform and tried not to scowl. In her head she knew that was promoted to lieutenant with Richardson leaving because of the remainder of the lance, she had the most qualifications. Her gut on the other hand... If only Nicholai and I hadn't become lovers before Richardon's departure and my promotion, my emotions wouldn't feel so tangled, she acknowledged to herself.

But that was the difficult part and after the little snarling match she'd had with her commander, and now lover, the night before, she wouldn't let herself doubt her promotion. That was the hard part.

"Have a little faith in yourself", she said softly to herself. "You're not Marlana Halas in the Lyran Alliance, whose every move is dominated by her mother. You're Lonnie Silvestri now, and whatever honors and promotions you get are because you've earned them. Remember that."

"You have faith in your lance, they have faith in you. And you swore that you wouldn't let Sheratan hang over you, you always keep your oaths, as Marlana or Lonnie. And Nicholai did agree as your commander that if proves to be too much, you would talk about putting someone else into place, or if Richardson comes back, would talk about him taking back over."

She sighed and scrubbed her face with one hand, then began to collect her few toiletries to be put away as she reflected over the last few days. It seemed like so much more time than that had gone by. When the Red Dawn returned to Outreach only 3 days before, the AMC held a party for the Dawn for the successful rescue of the POWs they'd been hired to retrieve. Not surprisingly it had been a wild party, and while she had picked up on the spirit of the other revelers, it was just too wild for the quiet soul that she was.

After seeing how the officers were mixing in with their subordinates, she decided to take a chance in seeking out Kasperov in the hopes of getting maybe a couple of dances. Not that she was entirely fond of dancing, not after getting her foot broken from trying to teach a friend a basic waltz while still at the Nagelring, but it was a good excuse to get close to the man her heart had fallen for. A man who seemed skittish when alone with her for some reason. She hoped he would consider a dance or two "safe" so she could at least get to know him a little better as a friend, not a fellow soldier or her commander. She'd found him on the edge of the party where he wouldn't be immediately noticed watching over his "children".

For a brief moment she felt like she was back at Premana, when she was in her effective exile, approaching a potentially skittish horse on one of the Governor's ranches. But to her surprise, when Lonnie had approached him, he seemed to welcome her presence and gestures for a nearby rock to sit on together. She'd sat closer to him than she originally intended, but again, it didn't seem to disturb him.

They talked for a bit about the party before the conversation turned to the nature of "fun" and whether it was acceptable for a commander to indulge. She'd been working towards asking for that dance when he kissed her. Oh, she'd been shocked for only a brief moment, but she wasn't going to turn away from something she'd been longing for...well, longer than she'd cared to admit. Even to herself.

That kiss lead to other things and she found herself in his bed. Never once did her force her into doing anything, and proved he was an officer and a gentleman when he didn't let them go all the way when she admitted just how inexperienced she was. Not that they didn't find other ways to satisfy one another, but he wanted it at the right time. Something she was quite grateful for and understood perfectly. Falling asleep in his arms had been an odd feeling, but a wonderful one.

The next day was just as wonderful and all during the day, she worried at the back of her mind that she would wake in her cold and lonely bunk, that the night and the day she spent with him proved to be a dream. But she didn't and it wasn't. It let her get to know him as a man, they didn't have many interests in common, but there was enough to give them something to build off of. Not that agreed on the same viewpoints, that would have been boring, but there was common ground. That morning they'd also discussed that there wouldn't be any favoritism on his part, a fact she heartily agreed with and had told him she'd be furious if there was. After that...it was just a fantastic day. But the part that warmed her most was when he told her that in their rare moments alone, it wasn't him and her, it was "us". The day showed her the unexpectedly romantic part of his personality which brought out a happier, as well as slightly mischevious, side of her personality that she never suspected was there.

That night she spent in his bed again in the same manner as before.

But the next morning was when everything changed. Victor had been apparently called away due to a family emergency, so the only other person with her was Jain when Richardson notified them that he was leaving to return to Solaris. It was an awkward parting since none of them seemed to know what to say. The duties during the day were fairly light since everyone was still recovering from the party and the day of leave. That night lead to the first little spat she had with Nicholai, the worst part was that it mixed both professional and personal matters. A meeting was held for the soldiers to notify them of a reorginzation of the command structure of the unit. That besides Richardson, another member of the unit was leaving due to an end of his contract. And that was when she found out she was promoted to take Richardson's place. She managed to fake a smile in general, but she wasn't able to conceal her fury from Kasperov.

That lead to a brief, but very private, chewing out from him as both commander and lover in his office after the meeting. He hadn't taken it very well that she would doubt his objectivity. Which forced her to remind him about her background and why she reacted as she did. Then he made a comment about her "having a cute ass" to break the tension, and they got over it, professionally and privately.

She silently shook her head and sighed a bit as she finished gathering and putting away her things.

"Enough woolgathering, el-tee. You have a meeting with your new boss, then you get to see what new and interestingly painful things that will have to be done in the name of duty."

Lieutenant Silvestri walked out of the room, then the barracks briskly.

She refused to think about the doubts gathering in the back of her mind.