Sulking
November 29, 3071
Outreach
Bravo Lance Barracks
Slumped into a chair in a most unladylike fashion, Lonnie decided to go all the way and put her booted feet up on the table and sighed. Today the unit had been informed that there was a contract and they would be shipping out in ten days, in three Bravo Lance would have another mock combat, this time in answer to a challenge from Vicore. The mechwarrior rolled her big, blue eyes at that thought, god save them all from idiot corps.
But those weren't the problems, yes she was nervous, but that wasn't what got her into the current funk.
No, it was because she had let herself get caught off guard and had almost lost her temper in a very explosive and potentially terrible manner.
All she could feel was fear when Kasperov announced their employment was from the Lyran Alliance. Then Victor made his comment about their new employer leaving them to hang just after the commander had told them that the contract was from the Archon himself to retrieve mercs abandoned by that insane cunt that had sat on the throne before Peter and something terrible woke. All of the hate and rage that she had thought she had exorcised, but instead had buried deep in her psyche, came boiling to the surface. For the very briefest of moments she only saw a hot, red haze filming her vision and a part of her bayed for blood fresh from the vein.
That was the reason for her sulk. That she could be capable of such a terrible side...it scared her. Scared her more than anything else, even the thought of her mother or her enemies catching up to her. The fact she'd been able to control that bitter poisonous part of her mind was small consolation. All that had allowed her to gain control was the regard she held for her Lancemates and the more powerful emotion she refused to name for her commander.
Had it been anyone else... she didn't know what she would have done. To loose her control in such a manner was abhorent to the woman who considered herself a civilized human.
One thing it do was confirm one thing in her mind, she needed to tell her Lance the truth of who and what she is, and why the morning's conversation had sparked what it did in her. She didn't remember much about the briefing afterwards, only remembering the terrible exhaustion that had swamped her and muddled her thoughts. The afternoon's sim practice wasn't even a dim memory, she'd been on automatic pilot at that point. That she hadn't gotten her ass reamed about by Richardson or Dante meant that her reflexes were working well enough to cover that her mind had gone into hiding.
With another sigh she pulled out her noteputer to send a message to Kasperov. Before she did anything rash, she wanted to let her commander know what she wanted to tell her Lance and if there was anyone else that she could notify. Lonnie's thoughts were too muddled from the damn lies that kept building upon one another, if she was to go onto a battlefield, she wanted to be as clear and sharp and precise as possible.
"Commander, I'm requesting a moment of your time to ask for your advice on a matter.
Thank you.
L. Silvestri"
Outreach
Bravo Lance Barracks
Slumped into a chair in a most unladylike fashion, Lonnie decided to go all the way and put her booted feet up on the table and sighed. Today the unit had been informed that there was a contract and they would be shipping out in ten days, in three Bravo Lance would have another mock combat, this time in answer to a challenge from Vicore. The mechwarrior rolled her big, blue eyes at that thought, god save them all from idiot corps.
But those weren't the problems, yes she was nervous, but that wasn't what got her into the current funk.
No, it was because she had let herself get caught off guard and had almost lost her temper in a very explosive and potentially terrible manner.
All she could feel was fear when Kasperov announced their employment was from the Lyran Alliance. Then Victor made his comment about their new employer leaving them to hang just after the commander had told them that the contract was from the Archon himself to retrieve mercs abandoned by that insane cunt that had sat on the throne before Peter and something terrible woke. All of the hate and rage that she had thought she had exorcised, but instead had buried deep in her psyche, came boiling to the surface. For the very briefest of moments she only saw a hot, red haze filming her vision and a part of her bayed for blood fresh from the vein.
That was the reason for her sulk. That she could be capable of such a terrible side...it scared her. Scared her more than anything else, even the thought of her mother or her enemies catching up to her. The fact she'd been able to control that bitter poisonous part of her mind was small consolation. All that had allowed her to gain control was the regard she held for her Lancemates and the more powerful emotion she refused to name for her commander.
Had it been anyone else... she didn't know what she would have done. To loose her control in such a manner was abhorent to the woman who considered herself a civilized human.
One thing it do was confirm one thing in her mind, she needed to tell her Lance the truth of who and what she is, and why the morning's conversation had sparked what it did in her. She didn't remember much about the briefing afterwards, only remembering the terrible exhaustion that had swamped her and muddled her thoughts. The afternoon's sim practice wasn't even a dim memory, she'd been on automatic pilot at that point. That she hadn't gotten her ass reamed about by Richardson or Dante meant that her reflexes were working well enough to cover that her mind had gone into hiding.
With another sigh she pulled out her noteputer to send a message to Kasperov. Before she did anything rash, she wanted to let her commander know what she wanted to tell her Lance and if there was anyone else that she could notify. Lonnie's thoughts were too muddled from the damn lies that kept building upon one another, if she was to go onto a battlefield, she wanted to be as clear and sharp and precise as possible.
"Commander, I'm requesting a moment of your time to ask for your advice on a matter.
Thank you.
L. Silvestri"
posted by Reika at 10:21 PM
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