The darkness after the light
October 30, 3072
The battle was every bit as ugly as I was afraid of.
We lost Lt. Chubarov, the Colonel’s aide-de-camp, and Capt. Giller. They’ll be greatly missed and it’s going to be an uphill battle to convince Nicholai that their deaths aren’t entirely his fault.
His demons did wake during that battle which led to some rash decisions, but he wasn’t the only one who had that happen. He was fine until the report came in about just how truly horrid the conditions in the mines were. I think we all lost some of our rationality at that point, though I don’t think I was affected as badly as the others.
No, instead I got into a “disagreement” with Nicholai during that dreadful moment when he ordered to fire upon any enemy that ejected from downed mechs and vees. Spyros prompted me just as I was about to open a private commlink to the commander about his order.
The only part of that conversation that wounded me the most was the fact he flung my mother and her actions in my face. I was not even thinking about her when I called him out on his order, only that it sounded like his demons were running rampant and I wanted to stop him before he did something he would regret for a long time afterwards.
Then I had to talk Spyros out of loosing it as things got worse in combat.
I think I’m more exhausted from the emotional battles than the physical one.
Not surprisingly the margrave fought until the last, refusing to be taken alive. Despite what Nicholai believed the man would not have walked away as a hero of a media circus.
I would have called in every favor I had remaining to me in the Alliance to bring him down. As Alex keeps reminding me, I still do have friends there, some of whom would have been quite happy to guide me to the way to bring the bastard down.
But that is neither here nor there now. What’s done is done and we all need to live with the consequences of our actions.
I just wonder if I should have argued a little harder a little longer instead of withdrawing when he brought up my mother.
At least tomorrow night there will be some fun with the Halloween party. After much grumbling and groaning Nicholai agreed to get a costume though he wouldn’t tell me what it was going to be. He had that ominous look in his eyes to make me pay for that. I won’t mind, since he’s likely to make it interesting. Though a good interesting I hope.
The battle was every bit as ugly as I was afraid of.
We lost Lt. Chubarov, the Colonel’s aide-de-camp, and Capt. Giller. They’ll be greatly missed and it’s going to be an uphill battle to convince Nicholai that their deaths aren’t entirely his fault.
His demons did wake during that battle which led to some rash decisions, but he wasn’t the only one who had that happen. He was fine until the report came in about just how truly horrid the conditions in the mines were. I think we all lost some of our rationality at that point, though I don’t think I was affected as badly as the others.
No, instead I got into a “disagreement” with Nicholai during that dreadful moment when he ordered to fire upon any enemy that ejected from downed mechs and vees. Spyros prompted me just as I was about to open a private commlink to the commander about his order.
The only part of that conversation that wounded me the most was the fact he flung my mother and her actions in my face. I was not even thinking about her when I called him out on his order, only that it sounded like his demons were running rampant and I wanted to stop him before he did something he would regret for a long time afterwards.
Then I had to talk Spyros out of loosing it as things got worse in combat.
I think I’m more exhausted from the emotional battles than the physical one.
Not surprisingly the margrave fought until the last, refusing to be taken alive. Despite what Nicholai believed the man would not have walked away as a hero of a media circus.
I would have called in every favor I had remaining to me in the Alliance to bring him down. As Alex keeps reminding me, I still do have friends there, some of whom would have been quite happy to guide me to the way to bring the bastard down.
But that is neither here nor there now. What’s done is done and we all need to live with the consequences of our actions.
I just wonder if I should have argued a little harder a little longer instead of withdrawing when he brought up my mother.
At least tomorrow night there will be some fun with the Halloween party. After much grumbling and groaning Nicholai agreed to get a costume though he wouldn’t tell me what it was going to be. He had that ominous look in his eyes to make me pay for that. I won’t mind, since he’s likely to make it interesting. Though a good interesting I hope.
posted by Reika at 9:06 PM
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