The first step to independence

"Why do you persist in helping that madwoman with her self-aggrandizement, mother?"

The older of the two women looked up sharply at the younger who was standing at the sole window in the room and looking out. While the elder kept her face as serene as possible, her grey eyes smoldered with suppressed fury. Her response hissed out of her almost involuntarily, enraged by her daughter's attitude.

"That is no way to speak of your Archon, Marlana Halas. You're lucky you're a student at the Nagelring and especially lucky to be my daughter, else you'd have ended up with the other dissidents by now."

Marlana turned and gazed at her mother with cool, dispassionate eyes. A young woman in her late teens, early twenties, she had grown up to be far more beautiful than her childhood prettiness indicated. The fact she did nothing to try and enhance her looks or dress as becommingly as she should always irritated her mother. That Marlana refused to entertain the thought of considering an alliance match with any of the fine young men her mother had introduced her to hadn't helped, but her attitude now... That was the final straw.

Yet when Marlana's expressionless mask cracked for just a moment, Catharina Dinesen-Maynard almost fled the room. She never dreamed that her eldest daughter held such hate and contempt. Then the mask came back into place and Catharina was able to pretend she'd never seen the slip.

"You aren't doing me any favors, mother. And you aren't doing the rest of our nation any favors either. You as much admitted to me that Katherine had done everything she could so that she could end up as Archon. Because of her hunger for power our nation is being torn apart. I've lost classmates to their own families!"

Marlana took a deep breath and let it out slowly, not bothering to hide how she felt and her blue eyes could have been the lasers from one of the mechs she had learned to pilot. "You have influence with that stupid woman, and even if you couldn't sway her, you have enough clout with your peers to do something. If you bothered to exert yourself a little, you could help stop this damned mess."

Flushing then paling at her daugher's verbal attack, Catharina stood up and began to advance on her daughter angrily.

"Do you really think stopping a war is that easy? Some soldier you're proving to be. And I never knew I'd raise such an ungrateful little bitch." Without thinking about it, she raised her hand to strike her daughter, but the blow never landed. Instead her wrist was in the tightly painful grasp of Marlana's fist. For the first time in her life as she stared eye to eye with her firstborn child, Catharina knew fear of her daughter.

Marlana spoke softly, her tone clearly laced with menace, "Never again, mother. I'm not the child you used to dominate. Try that again, and I'll do more than just stop you."

With disgust she dropped her mother's wrist which was already beginning to form a bruise in the shape Marlana's hand. "And yes, I am a fool. A fool for believing that you might actually give a shit about people other than yourself. Good bye mother."

Not bothering to wait for the older woman to get over her shock, Marlana made an abrupt about face and began to leave the room.

"How dare you threaten me and leave like that! This conversation isn't over young lady."

The young soldier paused, but didn't bother to look over her shoulder. "It was not a threat, mother. It was a statement of fact. And this conversation is very much over."

Despite her mother's increasingly loud shrieks to stop, Marlana continued grimly on her way to leave her mother's house. Her mother didn't concern her, the woman didn't have what it took to make a person's life hell, unlike the instructors and other students at the Nagelring.

Once she was far enough away from the grounds of the townhouse, Lana stopped at a cafe to get a drink and to collect herself before returning to the school. Much to her surprise she found that under her anger, there was relief. She'd finally stood up to her mother and if she didn't come out the victor, it was at least a tie. Her mouth quirked slightly with bitter amusement. She'd pay, and likely very dearly, for this confrontation, but it was her first step to being her own woman.

That was worth whatever price she had to pay.

A moment of happiness

Ted Halas sat in a tilted back chair with his feet up on a table, not caring what his boots were likely doing to the finish, watching over the little girl sleeping in a bed that was far too big for her. Asleep she looked like an angel, her normally carefully neutral expression relaxed into a sweet smile, one small arm flung around an absolutely huge stuffed cat. He shook his head with amusement, when his brother Sledge did something, he did it all the way.

Hearing movement in the other room, Ted carefully got to his feet and quietly left the room so as to not disturb Marlana. Though considering the excitement of the day, she was probably too to be wakened, still he didn't want to bother her. It looked like for once she was having sweet dreams and he wanted her to be happy. Leaving the door open slightly so that he could hear her if she called, he went to see what his brother was up to.

William "Sledge" Halas was in the process of popping open a fresh bottle of beer when his older brother came out into the living room of the hotel suite they were in. Despite the fact he had shaved shortly before dinner only a few hours before, he was already sporting a five o'clock shadow. "How's the kid doing, Ted?", he asked quietly.

The older of the two brothers smiled as he sat down and accepted a bottle of beer. "Fine, out cold and still hasn't let go of the damn toy you gave her."

Despite his words, Ted grinned and Sledge grinned back, both remembering her expression when Uncle Sledge gave his niece a stuffed toy tiger that was almost bigger than she was.

"She's only nine, every little girl should have a few stuffed toys, figured I'd make up for some lost time in one fell swoop."

Both fell silent for a time, lost in their own thoughts as they drank their beer and Sledge surfed through the channels of the holovid. Ted sighed a little to himself, more from being tired than anything else. He'd forgotten the boundless amounts of energy an excited nine-year-old could possess, especially one that was normally not allowed to give into exuberance. Yet despite her enthusiasm, she remained a polite and sweet little girl, pretty much charming every adult that she encountered. Cute, courteous, charming...only at nine, he wondered what kind of adult she'd turn into, and if he'd be allowed any further contact with his only child. He knew he kept embarrassing her every time he told her how much he loved her and how proud he was, but he figured that was a father's right and everything he told her was true.

"You know, Ted... we both know all the right people in the wrong places. It wouldn't be that hard for us to leave with her and you could keep her. She'd be alot happier."

The tired father closed his eyes and sighed again, "We've been over this Sledge, what kind of life can a merc offer her? As much as I hate that bitch of an ex, she can offer our daughter far more opportunities than I ever could."

Sledge scowled, "And what about her emotional well being, bro? She doesn't act like a nine year old most of the time, it took both of us a few hours to get her to relax enough to try to act like a kid. We both know that ex of yours is trying to turn Lani into a copy of herself and it's killing her."

Wearily Ted opened his eyes, "And her mother is now a dutchess with a great deal of wealth and power. As much as we're valued by the Rangers and they would what they could to protect us all, it wouldn't be fair to bring that kind of trouble on us all."

The younger brother shook his head angrily, but before he could Ted raised his hand.

"I just want to give my daughter a brief moment of happiness with this visit. I'm not going to risk turning her life upside down on the vague chance I might be able to take her and keep her and that she might be happy. I don't want her following my footsteps."

Sledge sagged a bit, "Yeah, I know, bro, but... Damn. I hate seeing a sweet kid like that suffering the way she is."

"Well, the other reason why I'm willing to hold out is that she's been accepted into the Tharkad School of Military Science. She'll start in a few months and her mother won't have the kind of strangle hold that she does now."

"So she got in? That's great! There'll be better chances for us to visit, and she might actually be able to make some friends."

Ted smiled, "Exactly. That school isn't just for pampered rich kids, they make 'em work. Her mother is just humoring her, but I know Lani is tough enough to do well."

Stretching out, the older man put his feet up on the coffee table, and just grinned at his brother mocking tsks before taking another drink of beer. At least Catharina's people had made sure the rooms were stocked with the best. "So, now that's out of the way, what trouble do you think we can get into tomorrow?"

Chuckling softly, Sledge shook his head, "As if your kid would let us, I swear she's more responsible than both of us put together. Anyway, what she wanted from me is just to go see a movie and not just any movie but one of those idiotic battlemech jobs."

"That should be amusing if nothing else."

A snort was the only answer he got to that. "I was thinking, maybe we'll take her horse back riding. After seeing Lani going nuts over that Clydesdale, she'd probably enjoy that."

Ted nodded his agreement, the two spent a little time going over other ideas for the next two weeks and it wasn't long before they were reminiscing over past vacations. Neither said anything, but it was amusing to both that they were probably having more fun with a little girl along than they had on some of their previous trips.

It wasn't going to be as long as the two men hoped for, but if they could make the next two weeks more than a brief moment of happiness for a special little girl, they would.

Through the eyes of Alex and Elise.

"You did the right thing you know."

The soft voice was accompanied by a gentle hand placed on the shoulder of a tall, lanky man slouched in a chair of a small cafe. For once his brown eyes weren't gazing off in the distance at things he could only see, instead they were focused upon the back of a tall, slim woman with shoulder lenght hair who was slowly walking away from the table. Reluctantly he turned his attention to the owner of the voice.

He smiled sadly at the conventially pretty woman standing next to him, noting the worry in her warm, doe brown eyes. He patted her sun-kissed brown hand with his paler one. "I know, love. I know. It's just that I worry about her."

Without any fanfare, the slightly plump woman sat down in the recently vacated chair across from him. As was usual she hadn't bothered with appearance, content to wear just jeans and a t-shirt, her golden ringlets bound up into a ponytail. And as usual he thought she was absolutely lovely.

Elise laughed, "And you wouldn't be you if you didn't worry about her. Believe me, dear Alex, you're not the only one to worry about Lani. Or whatever her name is now. I still don't want to know."

Alex chuckled a little ruefully, "I'm not sure why you think you can't keep a secret, but I'll honor your wishes. It's so hard to just let her walk out of my life like that though. She's my sister in every way except blood."

He looked down at the mug of whatever drink he had ordered, it had long since cooled, but debated taking a sip anyway when his fiance spoke again.

"You know, Alex... you never did say how you and Lani met. I know you met at school, but that's about it."

Surprised he leaned back in his chair, a thoughtful expression upon his face. "Huh, you're right. I never really thought about it. Just seems that ever since we met you at Nagelring and you fell right in with us, that I forgot it never came up."

Deciding he wanted a fresh drink after all and knowing Elise would want one, Alex signaled a waiter before starting.

Without thinking about it he almost propped his feet up on the table until he remembered where they were and simply stretched his feet out under the table. "Well, our meeting was a good sign of how our friendship would go."

He took a sip of whatever he'd ordered, it tasted of mint and something else, some sort of tea, as usual such things didn't really make an impact on his life.

"It was a few weeks into our first year at the Tharkad School of Military Science, and needless to say pretty much everyone's favorite punching bag. The folks never could accept that I was never as athletic as my brothers, because they were graduates, meant I should be also."

They shared amused smiles, both families had long standing traditions of shipping their kids to the military, it was rare for one not to do well. Poor Alex being the typical favorite for the bullies to pick on due to being smaller, weaker and brighter was just a disaster waiting to happen, until Lani.

"Anyway, there I was getting the stuffing pummeled out of me as usual, then all of sudden, I wasn't. Even to this day I still don't know if it was a good idea to look up or not, but I did. Standing in front of me was a girl with a look that made me want to shrivel up and die rather than deal with her. And she wasn't even looking at me! Up until then I didn't really know what rage was, but that's what I saw in those eyes."

"She was smaller than the two jerks, hell, she was smaller than me, yet that didn't stop her. The short of the two she kicked in the shin, the other one... It makes me twitch, but she head butted him right in the balls."

Elise stared at him, she knew that Lani was decent at unarmed combat, but had no idea she was that good even at that age. Alex couldn't help himself and laughed.

"No, no, she's not some sort of martial arts master, she didn't even have training at that point. All that was going for her was anger and sheer good luck. The two jerks tried to get her in trouble, she did do an impressive amount of damage, but the school chose to discipline them instead of us due to the fact that other students complained, and just one of them was probably bigger than both of us put together."

"That's how I met Marlana Halas, she kept me from getting killed by punks, and I kept her from killing her mother as well as helping her with some of her lessons. When word spread we'd become best buddies, and she was taking the optional unarmed combat training, the bullies started looking for other targets. Big mistake on their part, as we both know, Lani hates those type of people."

He chuckled a bit from the memories. "She's still a little spitfire, but at least she's got that anger under control. At that time though, the control was a bit shaky. The number of times we got hauled up in front of the dean, fortunately he just lectured us for formality's sake. He never made any reports to her mother, but then again, he knew what she's like and didn't want to make things harder on Lani than they already were. Don't get me wrong, the instructors were tough, but at least they weren't insane."

"There was this one little bitch though, I can't remember her name, but I'm sure Lani has it somewhere in that diary of hers, or her memory. She doesn't forget who her enemies are, thankfully she doesn't forget her friends either. But that one girl, she took an instant dislike to both of us, I'm sure there was a reason, but again I don't remember why. Probably has to do with the fact that Lani was the better of the two."

He shrugged slightly and took another sip of his drink, and smiled as Elise reached out for his free hand. Their conversation turned to their research, yet neither had to mention that their thoughts were more on their friend and what trouble she may get into with her idea of joining a mercenary unit. The thought of Lani as a gun for hire was an image Alex had a hard time imaging, and prayed for his heart-sister's sake that the new commander was everything her father said him to be.

But if he wasn't... well Lani still had more friends than she knew in the LAAF, Alex and Elise weren't the least of them for all that they were more scientists than soldiers.

Another vignette

CRACK!

The sound of flesh upon flesh, a lady's elegant, long fingered hand with it's perfectly manicured and polished nails meeting the soft skin of a young girl's cheek.

Refusing to cry, the dark haired, pale skinned girl looked away from the furious woman in the black evening gown in the latest fashion on Tharkad, pale blonde hair twisted up in a coif that required hours of effort, her grey eyes snapping with fury."You will study what I tell you to study, you will behave and dress according to your station, or I swear that you will never be able to speak with your wretched father or his boorish brother again! And despite what that man told you, I can have that happen. Do I make myself clear?"

One delicate hand upon her reddening cheek, Marlana Halas nodded silently to Catharina Dinesen-Maynard, Grafina von Schwanensee. Her mother.

"I didn't hear you, Marlana," came the cool, imperious voice.

The girl spoke in carefully neutral tones, "Yes, Lady Mother."

A cold smile curved the woman's lips and wasn't reflected in her eyes, however the wrath slowly bled away. "Now that wasn't very hard, was it?"

"No, ma'am."

"Good. You are a lovely girl who will grow up into a heartbreakingly beautiful woman, and unlike many of those who are simply pretty, you have intelligence as well. If you listen to me and learn what you should, you will go a very long ways."

"Yes, Lady Mother."

The woman nodded approvingly, "On your way then, I had better not hear another similar report from your governess again. Now give me a kiss good night."

Somehow hiding her sulleness, Marlana brushed her lips in the air near her mother's cheek as she'd been taught before returning to her rooms. As she walked oh-so-carefully, she kept her large blue eyes downcast to hide the emotions swimming in them. There was more hate, anger and bitterness than an eight year old should have.

Finally she got into her rooms, seeing the governess had retired for the night, the girl gratefully flung herself onto her bed and wept bitterly. Not for the first time she wished she were with her father, even if she had never met him. His constant messages and the few gifts he was permitted to send to her were her only hold on her sanity. And not for the first time she wondered what was wrong with her since she couldn't seem to want the same things her mother wanted. Things that her little brother and sister seemed to want.

Not realizing it, she cried as decorously as possible so that she would look helplessly pretty, not a red sodden mess. Despite herself, she learned how to comport herself the way her mother wanted her to.

Soon the sobs faded, mindful of the latest lecture, Marlana grabbed a handful of tissues to wipe away the damages. Then inspected herself in a mirror to make sure the job she did was thorough, silently despising herself. Only two more years, Marlana told herself, only two more years then she would be old enough to be sent away for school. Still staring in the mirror she practiced her neutral expression, the one that was always safe to use around her mother and the people her mother surrounded herself with.

Just two more years...

First entry at the Red Dawn barracks

Perched on the edge of the roof to her barracks where no one could spot her easily and a breeze toying with the end of her braid, Lonnie looked out over the complex thoughtfully with her noteputer balanced on her lap with the ease of long practice."Computer, new journal entry," she said softly.

The only response was the typical chime, toned down so that anyone passing underneath the overhang wouldn't hear it.

"So, I'm now part of the Red Dawn, this is my first day in a new life as a merc. Funny, it's so completely different from my life in the LAAF, yet it shares the same elements. Only makes sense in that both are professional armies, but this… I'm not sure what I expected, but it's not really what I expected."

"Met my new Lancemates last night, the Lt. is a former warrior from Solaris VII. My first instinct was to wonder what the commander was on at the time when he made that decision, but having started to get to know him and the others… The commander definitely made the best choice. Of all of us, Richardson has real combat experience in a mech, it may not be on a true battlefield, but it makes a telling difference. How ironic, the one person who was trained to be an officer has no desire to pursue that position. I know that my former classmates would be horrified that someone like him would be commanding someone of my training and position. Fools."

She was silent for a moment, watching as some of the other early risers went by, sleepily chatting amongst themselves. "Anyway, with regards to the rest of the lance... Jain is a Canopian, Victor from the Free World League. Again, we're different, but similar. But then again, all professional soldiers have things in common. And once again I'm finding that my old issues with trust keep coming up. I need to trust these people, I want to trust them, hell I think I can come to like to them. But I can't get myself to trust them."

"Of course, what doesn't help is the fact we're all in a co-ed barracks. Granted we're all adults, but I've never shared a room with more than one person, and the opposite sex especially. Thankfully none of them have hit on me yet, and I hope they don't. We'll be seeing combat together and the last thing I need is someone holding a grudge at the fact I broke one or both hands when they tried to grope me."

She sighed softly in annoyance at the memories of past incidents.


Carefully, the slim woman propped her elbows on her knees then rested her chin on her clasped hands. "I don't even know if I can get myself to trust Captain Dante or Commander Kasperov. Especially after that meal yesterday being nothing but a test. Guess those years at Nagelring left their mark after all. After that hell, it's a wonder I even want to be a soldier… But what else can I do after all those years of training? It's stupid to waste it, and I'm fairly sure that I can contribute something to this company, even if it's just being a mech jock. And I know just how well I'd do in civilian life."

She snorted at herself."Listen to me, I sound like some idiot drama queen on an even more idiotic holovid. All 'woe is me' crap. Shit. Guess I didn't drink enough coffee this morning."

A sudden grin lit up her face, "At least they have good coffee, and the food isn't going to kill me. Better than some of the crap I ate on those awful hunting trips, and they did stock the unit fridge with some good stuff. It's a barracks, and a temporary one, but the command staff did what they could to make it reasonably comfortable. There's even a bit of a workout room. Dad was right, this is a good outfit."

There was silence for a moment as she contemplated her new life, "So besides working on rebuilding my body, I'll have to work on rebuilding the inside. Just need to remember to take it slow. At least some of them have a good sense of humor. Captain Dante bet our transport driver Taylor that he couldn't get us to our barracks in under ten minutes last night."

"That was some ride, Taylor is one hell of a driver, and as way of apology he gave us a bottle of Glenlivit. Pity it was hard liquor, wouldn't have minded a bit of booze to soften my nerves last night, but just can't bring myself to touch that stuff."

"First thing I need to work on is to forget being so formal. God, that's going to be difficult, with the exception of it just being Alex, Elise and a few others, or the rare times Dad and Uncle Sledge visited, I've had no choice but to be formal. The ruckus mom would kick up if I didn't call her Lady Mother."

She shook her head, the tail end of her braid swishing along the line of her shoulders when it wasn't being toyed with by the bit of breeze.

Keeping the 'puter balanced, Lonnie stretched a bit, then leaned back slightly, hands braced behind her and looked up at the sky with troubled dark blue eyes."Dad and Uncle Sledge both work for the unit, and I know I need to tell them who I am at some point. Was going to wait until I could prove myself to the unit…" She trailed off as her eyes darkened further."But I don't think I can wait, it's not right keeping them in the dark like that. Mom never really worried about me, only what I could do to advance her power. But they care. I told Uncle Sledge some of my plan, but not all of it, so just sending him an email telling him I'm okay wasn't fair just because I wanted to prove something to myself."

She straightened up. "I need to talk to them soon, maybe see if there's time tonight, depending on what my schedule is. Maybe see if I can meet them at Cabella's for dinner."Her lovely face was still for a moment as she thought that over, then a subtle tension went out of her slim frame. "Yeah, that's a good plan providing there's time, or if not dinner, maybe dessert. Signor Cabella makes a sinfully good tiramisu…"

"Now to see if how the day goes…"

"Computer, end journal entry."

Bitter Tears

((Just a vignette from the time Marlana graduated from the Nagelring, probably the most prestigious military school in the LA))

A cold wind whistled through the stark tree branches, the young woman sitting in the branches of large tree didn't notice since she was clad in a warm turtleneck shirt with heavy pants, both in winter camo colors. She had what could only be described as elfin features: somewhat triangular face with pointed chin, high cheekbones, thin, arching raven's-wing-black eyebrows over slightly canted enormous blue eyes, all set under ebony black hair that looked as if it had been precisely cut with a laser to go along her jaw line. There was enough softing of her features to make her exceptionally pretty so that her face wasn't all harsh angles and planes, combined with her generous mouth, it was a face meant for smiles and laughter.

There was no laughter in the sapphrine eyes, only bitterness, hatred and contempt as their owner surveyed the grand ball below her. Then she shifted her gaze to the ring in her hand, marked with the symbols of the Nagelring and her family on one side, Class of '69 on the other, it was gold with a diamond set in the center, covering the engraved clenched fist of the House Steiner in the center. The shininess of the gold testified to its newness. Her lips twitched sardonically. The ring was that of a graduation officer of that very prestigious school, and the fact that she had it, that she had just graduated earlier that day meant nothing to her.

The fact she had been accepted and graduated with honors meant nothing. After all her mother had bought it for her, like her mother had bought anything that would bring power and prestige to the family name. The woman's hand clenched over the ring, once again considering throwing it away, and more than the ring. All that it symbolized. As her arm drew tensely back to follow through on its owner's thoughts, the sound of not quite even footsteps could be heard crunching through the snow.

Pausing with her arm in the air, hand still clenched, she looked down to see an older man who had clearly seen rough days, but still had warmth in his eyes. The lines in his face were from care, but also from laughter, but it was clear that they were related by blood. Wrapped in a heavy coat, his breath frosting the air, it was clear that he wasn't as used to the wintry climate as the young lady perched in the tree.

"Alex told me that you'd probably be hiding somewhere up here once the party go to be too much for you." He smiled up into the fierce blue eyes staring down at him, "I know you're a mechwarrior and all, but I don't understand your constant fascination with heights."

The change in her countenous was quick, shifting from her dark thoughts, her face lightened and became almost heartbreaking in its beauty as she laughed softly, a genuine smile (an all too rare occurance), "Dad! I didn't know you were still here."

With a lithe grace of one who is in excellent physical shape, she dropped down out of the tree, absently pocketing the unthrown ring, before throwing her arms around her father. His breath whooshed out slightly as he wasn't ready for the hug, but he laughingly hugged her back.

"What? You'd think I'd miss out really celebrating with my favorite daughter on her big day? I thought you knew me better than that, Lani."

She wrinkled her nose slightly at him, "I happen to be not only your only daughter, but your only child too."

Ted Halas grinned down at her, wistuflly noting that he didn't have to look down as far. She'd grown into an amazing woman and once again regretted that he hadn't been there for her as much as he would have liked while she grew up into that woman. "Doesn't mean you can't be my favorite."

Marlana, Lani, just nodded, still smiling slightly, but this time her expressive eyes were tinged with sadness. Before she could say anything, Ted dropped a winter camo poncho over her head.

"Alex also told me that you'd probably be out here without a jacket. Smart guy your friend is."

Her reponse was muffled as she strugled with the folds of the poncho. judging by the tone the comment wasn't too pleasant. Ted simply leaned against a tree and silently laughed. It was good to see he could still surprise his daughter, even if he had to cheat by talking to her best friend first.

It didn't take her long to arrange the poncho, along with the weapons hidden in it to her satisfaction. Belting it into place, Lani looked at her father questioningly. Silently he dropped his arm around her shoulders and steered her away from the party, "I don't know why your mother decided to have the party here when there's just as nice party places that are enjoying Tharkad's excuse for a spring."

She sniffed in disdain before responding, "Because this is the most exclusive place to hold an event year round." Then added sourly, "She booked it the day I moved into the dorm at Nagelring."

He winced at the tone in her voice, then one-armed hugged her without breaking stride, neither realizing they were walking with a crisp, almost military gait. Or as much as his bad leg would allow.

"Don't let her get to you, hun. I'm proud of you, and your hard work. No matter what you think, you graduated the school on your own, not through your mother's bribes."

Her lips lifted slightly in a half-hearted smile, but didn't say anything.

Ted continued, pretending to not notice her reaction, "And I expect to see that ring on your hand when we get to our destination." Somewhat guiltily, she slid the ring onto her right ring finger under the concealment of the poncho. Her father seeing the furtive movements had a hard time stifling his grin. And before she could ask where they were going, he had her distracted by some of the trouble the younger members of his merc unit had gotten into on their recent leave while father and daughter headed to the nearby hovercar that he'd arrived in.

The resturant was small, cozy and friendly. While the lighting wasn't exceptionally bright, it was bright enough to imply privacy, but not meant for intimacy. The dining area was based around a huge central fireplace and the wooden furniture was simple, well kept and comfortable. Having left their weapons in the car, the two cheerfully handed their outer garments to the hostess before being seated at a table meant for a larger group. Frowning slightly, Lani looked around the resturant surreptiously, realizing that the resturant was almost empty. Her father simply grinned at her as he leaned back in his chair and started to study the menu.

As Lani opened her menu, still trying to figure out what her father was up to, the door to the resturant opened again, this time to a group of eight people who were laughing and talking excitedly. There was something about those voices...

A truly happy smile blossomed as she realized that it was Alex, his fiance Elise and their families. Alex was tall and somewhat gangly with dark hair and eyes with a pale complexion from spending most of his time inside windowless labs, his eyes were kind but often gazing into the distance. By contrast, Elise was short, slightly plump, but in all the right places, with short, curling golden hair, tanned complexion and big brown eyes. Much to Lani's amusement, it was love on first sight with those two. While it wasn't hard for people to believe that Alex was a genious with all things electrical and mechanical, most had a hard time believing that Elise was his equal. Lani didn't care, she just considered herself blessed to have at least two friends she could trust, even if she was closer to Alex than Elise.

It didn't take long for everyone to settle in and the night passed quickly with good food, laughter and excellent company. The parents were happy to see the pure joy in the eyes of their children, the last 6 years had been hard on everyone, but especially Lani. She just didn't have the heart to ruin everyone's good time with the news of her posting. She simply smiled and laughed and concentrated on having a good time. It was with a light heart she was able to celebrate Alex's and Elise's mutual posting to one of the experimental labs setup for the LAAF. And when it came time for her to say goodbye to everyone, including her father, she kept up the cheer until she was alone.

Then she returned to one of her favorite isolated heights and scream out the rage that had been festering in her all day. The angry bitterness that had started to well up when she was taken aside by an apologetic Dean who wanted to forewarn her about her posting after graduation. She could have handled the tour of a "Social General" knowing she could have shown what she was capable of. She could have handled being sent to some hellhole to do scutt work.

Instead her mother had pulled strings for a "soft" posting. To a planet that wasn't important in any way being outside of normal travel routes by 3 weeks, producing just enough crops to keep the small populace fed and clothed and covering what few imported goods they needed and no major resources. The people had a militia to take care of any small issues they may have, and a planetary governor who was retired from the LAAF and quite happy with his small pastimes there.

Finally the screams turned to broken sobs. She didn't want fame or glory, just a chance to serve honorably and well like her father. It took longer than she cared for to get herself under control.

Eventually she went to a place that should have been home, but wasn't, just a place to sleep. The only good thing was that she would be leaving in less than a week.

She could avoid going on a homicidal rampage that long.

She hoped.

Reika's Comment: This was after the initial preliminary RP where my char got to meet her new employer and commanding officer: Nicholai Kasperov. Here's the details for the game. http://www.bulldrek.com/viewtopic.php?t=7001

The tall, slim and elegant woman with shoulder length white hair and vivid blue eyes paced back and forth in her comfortable hotel room packing as she composed a voice message to send to her friend. On first glance she seemed like a typical, waif-like young woman who was more than commonly pretty, but a closer examination revealed the fitness and attitude of a trained soldier.

The black jumpsuit with grey accents was finely tailored to her slim frame and every movement was unconsciously graceful, the result of a lifetime of training as a lady of good breeding and high social status. Had anyone who knew her well was present, they could have clearly seen the signs of wary nervousness.

"Hey Alex, it's your favorite pain in the ass, hope you got my thank you already. I owe you dinner the next time we meet up. If for some ungodly reason, you end up on Outreach I know the best place I have ever been to for great Italian food. Yeah, even better than Luigi's in Tharkad City."

She paused for a moment as she mentally went over what she was going to say next."Just wanted to let you know that I did get in, but I've been busted. The commander knows, so if he goes poking around, don't do anything to him, at least not yet. He stated that he won't tell anyone else, and I'll see what happens. Anyway, you know I trust you, so if he does anything suspicious, do what you think is best."

She grinned suddenly, an expression that warmed her big eyes and made her appearance truly extraordinary. This wasn't the false, polite smiles she had learned out of self defense, or the shy, genuine smiles would occassionally grace the deserving person with. It was something reserved for the closest of friends, a rare commodity indeed and was accordingly treasured.The grin could be heard in her voice as she concluded the message on a light hearted note.

"Anyway, try not to blow anything up, and I'm curious to see if you got the funding you were working on for that new mech project of yours. Send my love to your lady Elise. And for the love of god, try to get some time OUT of the lab with her."

"Hope to talk with you soon."

"Love, Lani."

"Message ended."

The comp beeped it's acknowledgment, and she paused in her packing to send the message on it's way through a series of drop boxes to her best friend. For a moment she stood looking out at the sight of Harlech at night, but not really seeing what was outside of her window, her eyes bright with unshed tears as she remembered good and bad times with Alex. But it was a brief moment and she was back to the young, untried, but professional she had strived so hard for to become.

At first her voice was tight as she spoke while finishing the last of her packing. "Computer, new journal entry."

A soft chime was the only response from the noteputer laying on the nearby table.

"So, I've been accepted to the Red Dawn, I should be more excited, but at this point I'm just terrified. I've never jumped into a situation so totally unknown, and I've always known exactly what I was doing before this. But as I've said before, I think this is the only way I'll know what kind of person I truly am."

"Aside from Dad's comments and what is publicly available on Commander Kasperov, I don't know anything at all about my new CO, or any of the members of my new lance. The commander is definitely an intelligent man and every ounce the leader he's purported to be, but he's just so..."

Lonnie frowned for a moment, but carefully, years of admonishments echoing in the back of her mind to be careful of causing wrinkles, as she tried to organize her thoughts.

"So quixotic. I'm fairly sure part of it is his way of seeing how people react to certain situations. He's definitely very informal, something that is both uncomfortable and refreshing at the same time. I'm pretty sure I've never dealt with a person like this in my years at Nagelring, not even my SpecOps instructors, and I know for a fact I didn't encounter anyone like him in my years at the Tharkad School of Military Sciences. I just didn't expect him to have a second meeting conducted over dinner. A very good dinner, but still, very strange."

"I know some of it was a test to confirm in his mind his conclusions about me. Certain habits are just too deeply ingrained, and that shows, despite his compliments on fooling my new XO."

She laughed a bit sardonically. "And for some reason I'm hoping it was more than just a test and that everything wasn't just a front, despite what my Lyran sensibilities claim. I could easily like this new commander."

Silently the woman zipped up her last case, surveyed her few belongings and wryly noted in her mind how her mother would have a fit if she'd seen how little Lonnie traveled with.

"Needless to say he saw right through my act, but he didn't get all the details right. I've told him what I felt comfortable with, but that was still too much. The commander has told me that what I told him is under the strictest of confidence, all he would tell Captain Mueller and Captain Dante is that I do have a past, but one I wish to conceal. Said that the Captain would understand."

"And he seemed more...saddened that I had lied about who I am, not angry. Or if he was angry, he hid it quite well."

She laughed softly, "I'll admit, I did take a bit of perverse amusement at his reaction as to who I really am."

Then she sighed, "But even he didn't seem to understand what I'm really looking for. He thought I was looking for freedom with my head full of tales of glory."

She snorted in derision, it was probably one of her few unladylike expressions."I could have gotten freedom far easier by going into another line of work, even under my real name. The same for glory."

Lonnie gazed out the window again, "Yes, I want freedom, but I could care less about glory. Right now I just want to know who I am. I don't know if what I've studied all my life is real or not, I know that my skills are real, but do honor and integrity still exist?"

"I used to think I was a person of integrity, I don't use honor since it's so damn overused, but as a typical noble I resorted to lies and trickery to get into the Red Dawn. My new superior officers seemed to understand. Hell, Commander Kasperov wanted to know if there were any dangers that should be removed now, or if I needed a security detail."

She laughed a bit weakly and shook her head slightly, "I like bluntness like that, but never expected someone to be so protective of someone that he'd just met. I know he said the unit takes care of their own, but... Well, I guess I'm just bitter about my experiences in the LAAF."

"I can definitely learn from this unit, something I'd vaguely hoped for, but thought I'd never see. And I might actually be able to do what I'd always dreamed when I first started training fourteen years ago."

"A chance to help others. Only this time not despite the fact I'm a soldier, but because I am one."

"But I won't hold my breath."

"End journal entry."

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Checking the time she saw that she could go to the little cafe near the hotel for some of that wonderful coffee, the caffiene fiend in her wanted to get as much of the good stuff as she could before going back to army grade swill.Lonnie returned long enough to get her bags before checking out to get her cab to the base.

She never looked back.

An introduction

My normal blog is on livejournal and I had been using that to post these journal entries and story vignettes, but because I wanted my GM and fellow players to read the stuff easily, I decided to create a separate blog. I was originally going to use LJ, but it didn't want to cooperate, so here we are. :)

This is a journal for a BattleTech/Mechwarrior character who calls herself Lonnie Silvestri. To sum up a long story, Lonnie is the daughter of a very rich, powerful and beautiful noblewoman in the Lyran Alliance. Her birth name is Marlana (Mar-LAY-nah) Halas and due to her father's influence didn't grow up with the type of attitude her mother wanted, that is power hungry. Marlana joined the military to try to escape, but found it rife with others like her mother (no, the entire alliance isn't corrupt, Lana just has really crappy luck). After a bought of extremely food poisoning due to bad fish served at a dinner held in her honor (she saved a planetary governor from choking on a chicken bone), she took a long look at her life and realized she needed to start over.

Her best friend setup an extremely good fake id and she decided to join a merc unit that was just forming called the Red Dawn. Her father is the head administrator of the unit, but doesn't know that she's joined. Due to the drastic weight loss from her recent illness, and not dying her hair black anymore (it's pure white), she looks like a different woman.

The first few bits are things I posted in my LJ, but realized they needed some editing, while they're pretty much the same, some details may have been added or edited.

Comments are always welcome. :)